Do you want to be less disturbed by what others say?
Do you have the feeling that wrong behavior swept you to a problematic situation in relationships?
Do you often feel that you don't know what is the right way to react in a situation in your life?
Do you feel sometimes that the harder you try to convince someone that you aren't the one to blame, you succeed?
I want to warmly recommend an amazing book that really changed my life, and my way of thinking about other people and their behavior. I think it can be a great guide book to those of you that want to find inner peace and happiness, and better their relationships. I came across this book in my coaching studies and I recommend all my trainees to buy it since.
The Four Agreements is written by don Miguel Ruiz. The Four Agreements exposes self-limiting beliefs that destroy the joy in our life and create suffering. Don Miguel Ruiz offers powerful rules that can transform our lives to much more authentic, calm and happy life. The Four Agreements are: be impeccable with your word, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions and always do your best.
Be impeccable with your word – words have a power in our reality. You should always speak with integrity and try your best and say exactly what you really mean. We should avoid using words against ourselves and against others.
Don't take anything personally – nothing others do is because of you. What others do or say is a projection of their own reality so if you practice being shield of the opinions and actions of others, you won't be a victim to what they say.
Don't make assumptions - We make assumptions and treat them as if they were real, and that's how we function in a reality we invent. All arguments between people assumptions that we make. Always ask questions and be clear than make assumptions originating mainly in our imagination.
Always do your best – doing your best is changing from moment to moment, it will be different when you're healthy than when you're sick. Under any circumstances, do your best in every situation, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
You can find in the book many descriptions of situations that you can relate to, and follow the advice there.
So, all is left – is that you go and buy it and improve your life!
Hello Sigal
ReplyDeleteI have never heard of this book before.
I agree completly with your post. words should be carefully chosen and hought of.
sounds interesting.
Hi Sigal,
ReplyDeleteI don't usually read books of that kind, mostly because many times they are not written in a way that I find interesting enough. So I wonder if this book is written in an appealing way. The idea sounds interesting, and I agree with most of what you wrote.
Those are pretty hard rules to follow... does the author provide the reader with any practical tools?
ReplyDeleteHi Sigal,
ReplyDeleteI'll be sure to try to follow these rules. But is it possible, like Esther said?
Shiri
Anyhow, you do always have to do your best.
ReplyDeleteActually I really love tips books for better life. I only read them in Hebrew, but maybe this is a good opportunity to try one in the original language.
ReplyDeleteI read this book a few years ago, my brother gave it to me. Back the, I really like it, but I'm not sure I'll read it again, though.
ReplyDeleteI agree with those who say that such excellent advice is 'easier said than done.' But thanks--after reading your review, I feel that I can just skip the book itself. :)
ReplyDeleteDefinately "easier said than done", but it's a start. Each one of us can take a step, even a small one, and improve slowly. Thank you for summing it up!
ReplyDeleteI have nothing to add other then agree with each and every recommendation. We are born to work up a better personality and behavior. Look up for the ways ,pray Esther!
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ReplyDeleteSigal...
I think this book is very useful to read for our life. The four agreements can help us to know how to deal with some crucial situations in life. I think I would like reading that book, and it seems it can give us some meaningful advice !!!
Thanks for your recommendation!
Noa Nokrian
Hi Sigal, I was also wondering if it is possible to release ourselves from the burden of others opinions. There is some contradiction in it because we grow and develop through our relationships with one another. One doesn't become more sensitive or more understanding thorough being on their own and dealing only with their own needs. Also, many of the things we do call out for interaction: I draw a picture for someone to see, I sing for someone to hear, and so on. So I am not sure how this idea can be applied philosophically and practically.
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